Framework for changing habits

Reminder from “The power of habit” - structure of a habit:

Fig. 2: Structure of a habit - cue triggers routine that brings reward

Want to change a habit?

1. Identify the routine

2. Experiment with rewards

3. Isolate the cue

4. Have a plan

5. Find out what routine you want to change and write it down. Describe it in detail.

• I want to stop eating a bar of chocolate each day after lunch

2. Routines are "expeditions" for rewards that, in turn, satisfy cravings. Try replacing routines to see what craving is a routine satisfying.

• If you are eating a bar of chocolate every day after lunch, try to replace it with a walk or with an apple

3. It's important to see what craving is driving your routine.

• Are you craving the chocolate bar or just a pause from work? Replace the chocolate bar with a different activity 3 days in a row. After each activity ask yourself if you still feel the urge for that chocolate bar.

Cue categories:

• Location
• Time
• Emotional state
• Other people
• Immediately preceding action

When the urge hits answer these questions:

• Where are you?
• What time is it?
• What's your emotional state?
• Who else is around?
• What action preceded the urge?

4. Now that you know the cue and the reward, create a plan. You can change to a better routine by planning for the cue and choosing a behaviour that delivers the reward you are craving. When I see CUE, I will do ROUTINE in order to get a REWARD.

Creating new habits

New habits - new me. You have to be aware that your identity will change when habits will change.

• Small habits (going to bed early, making your bed in the morning etc)
  • seem irrelevant but in fact they give you the feeling of control; this boosts self-confidence and expands over all the domains in your life
  • have a much bigger impact on the long term; focus on the process, not on the objective; if you focus on improving your system rather than always checking the objective, the system will improve and will get you faster to the objective.
• Each action triggers a new one. When Diderot became rich out of a sudden he bought a red robe. He realised that the robe doesn't go well with the other objects in his house so he bought statues and a new mirror to make his house more aesthetic. Soon he was in a spiral of consumerism that was triggered by the red robe. I also noticed the so-called "Diderot effect" while I am working on a project. When I'm done with a feature, of course, I want to add 3 new features.
• When creating new habits, couple them with a date and place. Also use habit chaining, "after x I’ll do y".
• There are no good or bad habits, there are only efficient or inefficient habits. A habit is perpetuated because it helps you. It rewards you.
• Make a plan when starting a new habit. I will do [ACTION] in [LOCATION] at [TIME].
• Context changes can lead to major habit changes. Habits tend to be associated with a context rather than with simple cues.
• Make your new habits irresistible; if they're attractive, you won't fail in pursuing them.
• Make a ritual to boost your happiness before starting an unpleasant habit so you can associate a pleasurable feeling with it.
• Focus on action, not on planning the habit. It is crucial to repeat the behaviour for it to become a habit.
• If you miss a day from your routine, start over the next day. Don’t let yourself demotivated. Disciplined people get back to their routines fast. Don’t use the all or nothing principle.
• Goldilocks principle can be applied to habits. For a habit to be entertaining it doesn't have to be easy because you'll get bored. If it is too hard you'll know there is no chance to make it. It has to be medium, just right.

Giving up bad habits

• Hide the cues of bad habits and make the cues for good habits more visible. Leave peeled carrots on the table and hide potato chips in the furthest drawer.
  • I have to click 10 times to cancel my Amazon Prime subscription and 1 time to buy anything.
• Avoid temptations instead of resisting them. Resisting them is a short-term strategy.
• Our cultural environment dictates what habits we treasure. We tend to imitate family and friends, the tribe (ideas that have a majority around us), and influential people. If a behaviour ensures the respect, approval, and appreciation of people around us, it will seem attractive. Thank you Cutr for this.
• There are ways to intentionally prevent future habits. If you want to use Facebook less, get some software to block it. This is also called a Ulysses pact.
• A journal to track behaviour helps with motivation. It also brings objectivity in the process because we’re subjective and we think we’re always behaving nicely. I sometimes tell people I go to the gym every day while in fact I visit the gym at most 5 times per week. The journal knows the truth though.
• Successful people also have a limited amount of time, feel the life’s struggles and have family problems. The difference is in their attitude towards problems and challenges.
• It’s easy to fail in creating new habits because you fight against human nature. Give yourself time.

Annex - Ulysses pact

Ulysses wanted to hear the Sirens' song although he knew that doing so would render him incapable of rational thought. He put wax in his men's ears so that they could not hear and had them tie him to the mast so that he could not jump into the sea. He ordered them not to change course under any circumstances and to keep their swords upon him and to attack him if he should break free of his bonds.

Upon hearing the Sirens' song, Ulysses was driven temporarily insane and struggled with all of his might to break free so that he might join the Sirens, which would have meant his death. His men, however, kept their promise, and they refused to release him.